Put a Little Mustard on It.

This phrase is commonly used for situations in which speeding things up, lending some ‘Oomph’, or just spreading a touch more spice on something would be beneficial. We know it. We love it.

I love my family, too. But truthfully, the last thing these people need is a little mustard…of any kind. They travel at lightening speed to the far corners of the globe, they are ‘Oomph-ed’ to the max with the credentials to prove it, they are a bunch that requires a hearty dose of antacid after prolonged contact—in other words, plenty spicy.

But curiosity cares not for need. It seeks the unknown and architects its demise. Curiosity has taken hold. And whether my family needs it or not, they are getting a serious dose of mustard.

Sunset Magazine featured homemade mustards and I was a goner. Who doesn’t want to know how to make mustard? My life suddenly became meaningless without mastering the art of this condiment. It didn’t take much to recruit my clan.

So, I am not alone. Pounds (yes, pounds) of seeds and mustard powder have been ordered. The concoctions are being soaked, simmered and spun into savory pastes as speak. We are a mustard-making family—Condiment Kings, Mustard Matriarchs, our own Seedy-Saucy Sovereignty.

The Mustard-Festival on Sunday (previously known as Easter) will be our crowning glory, the moment that we taste, compare and trouble-shoot our efforts.  If you are game, I have attached some recipes. Shown is my effort at Beer-Thyme Mustard. It’s hot. Safe to say, the ham has no idea what is about to hit it.

Soak the seeds in the beer of your choice.

Do not let these seeds get behind the wheel!

Collect your spices. 

Time to go for a spin. 

Oh, I wish you could smell this crazy concoction.

After 5 very unproductive minutes in the Cuisinart, 

I would suggest using a blender (as instructed).

Behold the results when you actually follow instructions.

Beware the power of mustard gas! Put a lid 

on these jars before there are casualties.

Warning label.

Beer-Thyme Mustard

1/4 cup brown mustard seeds

1/4 cup yellow mustard seeds

3/4 cup flat amber beer (or beer of your choice)

1 Tablespoon mustard flour

1 Tablespoon dried minced onion

2 teaspoons dried thyme leaves

1/2 cup cider vinegar

1 teaspoon salt

Soak the mustard seeds in the beer overnight. About 20 minutes before you are ready to make the mustard, stir the mustard flour, minced onion and thyme into the soaked seed mixture and allow to sit. 

Place the mustard mixture to a blender along with the vinegar and salt. Grind until it is the consistency of a paste, with some seeds remaining visible. This may take a minute or two. Transfer to a glass jar, cover and let stand at room temperature 4-5 days before using. Store in refrigerator.

Makes about 1 1/4 cups

Orange Honey Mustard

Yield: 48 servings

1/2 c Flour,all-purpose
1/4 c Sugar
1/4 c Colman's Mustard
2 tsp ground Turmeric
1/2 c Water
1/2 c Honey
2 c Cider vinegar
1 Grated rind of large orange

1. Combine flour, sugar, Colman's Mustard and turmeric in small bowl. Stir in water and let stand for 2 hours.

2. Combine mustard mixture, honey and vinegar in top of double boiler. Cook, whisking often, over boiling water until mixture just begins to thicken, about 3 minutes. Cook 2 minutes longer, whisking constantly, until slightly thickened. Stir grated orange rind into just-cooked mustard mixture (Mixture will thicken completely on standing.) turn into clean storage jar. Cover and refrigerate at least overnight or for up to 1 month.